Day 10. +1.5

In the short time I've been waking up at 4:30am, this is another instance of a trade not taking place until the 7-8 time slot. It's becoming a theme.

Nothing good for me first couple hours then around 7am things strarted looking mighty tasty. My rules were met several times but I chose not to put in a pending order. Reason being that price was nearing the very top of a solid range. Too bad for me that each one of those trades would have been winners! hah. It's cool though. It very well could have reversed as it had when previously reaching that area. Then I'd be kicking myself for making such dumb trades. So no worries.

The few pendings I did put in mostly got canceled but one went through for a gain of 1.5 pips. I felt it still had a good likelihood of going higher but (due to anxiousness I think) I decided to close it with profit to be safe. It immediately went higher and I told myself, "See? Should have left it." Yeah yeah. I'll work on being more in tune for next time.

Day 9. +4.1. Apples and lollipips.

Quite a few canceled trades there and all as easy as apple pie. Actually, easier. Last summer I tried to make an apple pie, my first time ever and that shit was not easy. Pie came out soggy as hell. Didn't know there was such thing as bakers apples! Anyway,  2 trades went through for a total of +4.1 pips. Sticking to my rules now feels completely normal. And some of the subjective calls I have to make at times are getting easier.

For instance, one of my rules is not to trade into major support/resistance points. Major resistance is determined on higher charts such as the hourly. I also am very wary of taking trades into large round number areas like 1.3500, though that part is not a hard rule. Last trade on chart my hard rules were being met but price seemed to stick. Seeing price move like that, and also seeing as how the price acted similar around 5:55, annnd seeing that a major round number was being approached, no thank you. My hard rules said all things were go, but those other elements didn't look right and I decided to cancel my order. Good thing too, because price would have hit my order just a couple minutes later and given me a loss.

The above is great, however, how I reacted to my loss on Friday was not so great. During the trading, everything was cool but over the weekend a familiar friend, Inconsistency, dropped by to say hello.

"Well hello Soma. Been a little while, but figured I come over and say hello."

"Oh hello there. Seeing you again feels great. Man, glad you could join me."

"Yeah, something that feels so right can't be wrong. Hey, let's go get a drink. Tell me all about your losses on Friday and I'll give you advice on what do. Help you change things up and get back in the game."

"Waaait a second. I'm not so sure about that. I'm supposed to stay away from you."

"C'mon, it will be just like old times!"

"Yeah, it would be fun...wait, no. No, I can't. Fuck off. I can't go."

"C'mmmmooon,  you know you want to. Hey, look, I got some candy for you. Look at this nice lollipop. Just come on over here and get into my van. It's ok, I promise."

"Ahhh, fuck you. Go away!"

And that was that. I came close to going with him but in the end he left alone. Though I do fear he will return in the future. I suppose I'll just have to keep an eye out for him.

Day 8. -8.4 pips. I bleed like Mai Li.

Apparently, Megatron kicked my ass because I had 4 losers in a row and 1 small win.

Things to note...

Looking at the 3rd trade now I'm wondering why the fuck I took it. Trend is going down but I do remember at the time thinking the trend was going up. I'll have to look at my other charts later to see why I took that trade.

Trades 1, 2, and 4 all went in the direction I expected after stopping me out. I'm using a very small stop, 2 pips which includes spread. Which made sense for the setup I was using previously. But for my current one, perhaps that's just dumb. I may need to make it dynamic, place the stop where I think the trade has failed. Which means I have to count on myself to stick to that level and not move it. Something I'd had problems with in the past. But I wanted to grow as a trader so this may just be what I need to do.

After the 4th loser I thought I had just hit over -10 pips. So what did I do? I stopped, bitch. I stopped! So ohyay! I was tempted to continue on and thought, "Ehhh, lets just take a trade to see what happens..." then I thought again and said, "Aw man, nevermind. I can't do that. Gotta stick to the gameplan. This sucks." hah. Then I remembered the last time I thought I was down more than I was so checked the account to be sure. Found out I was down 9 pips. So I had one more trade left. Took it and made a small gain, not much but I'mt happy that when I thought I went past -10 I stopped.

Another positive thing is that I only lost 8.4 pips since I stuck to my rules. I say only like it's a good thing, hah. But seeing as how I went on slot machine meltdown in the past, taking something like 20-30 trades in 10 minutes or so (and most of them losers!), -8.4 pips today is a more bearable outcome.

So overall today, some setbacks but also some progress.

Leeets do dis.

In my last entry I mentioned I might be hindering myself by not getting in enough trades. But also expressed concern that those thoughts may be stemming from old habits rather than legit qualms.

I've been thinking about it all day and have come to the conclusion that I do need to get more trades in. I've proved to myself that I can follow rules 100% so it's time to add another setup. Also making a slight change to the current one to allow a few more trades in. Just small changes overall. That way I can continue to build discipline and not be inundated with a million things to watch. Yet still test myself and my setups/rules to see if they really are valid. And more importantly, to find out if I'm a good boy!

I'm a little nervous already, hah, but it's time to see if I'm made of sterner stuff than Megatron. Fuck that guy.

Day 7. No trades.

Woke at 4:30 again. Looks like it's turning into a regular thing. Anyway, not the most exciting day in the world. Lots of movement but none that met my criteria. Came close several times but then no way jose, so I had to cancel the pending order each time.

A few things to note about myself though...

Sticking to the rules I laid out feels automatic now. There was no hesitation in canceling those pendings and there was no urge to jump in the market, even with the obvious downtrend. If my rules aren't met, I don't trade. Simple. I didn't even think of the good boy/bad boy jars. For the most part I forgot they were there until I noticed them after my session. I'm a bit surprised about this really, considering how I was trading just a few weeks ago all wild-eyed and retarded. I look at one of my first blog posts, the one that shows a ton of trades and think, "What the fuck?" hah.

Oh yeah, when I was about to take trades, like before I noticed myself getting worked up. So I took a few deep breaths and tried noticing how I was feeling. That helped to calm me quite a bit.

I've been thinking about the setup I trade. I only use 1 and it's super strict. I do have others that I feel are valid but originally I just wanted to focus on 1 to make it easier to build discipline. I've been wondering if, at this point, that is hindering my growth. Meaning, since it's keeping me out of the market so often am I being tested enough? How will I react if I take several losses in a row? Will I really stop for the day at 10pips down like my rules state? How will I react if I get a huge winner? When I played poker in the past and had a great winning day,  I would then get too reckless and lose more than I should have back to the table. It was like some weird la-la land feeling where I thought, "Ahhhh, I'm up a bunch today. I can just splash some money around now, no biggie". But it is a biggie because in the long run that adds up. A lot! So what about now, will I start to take stupid risks after big winning trades, or will I stick to my rules? With my current setup it could take forever to find out.

Or is all the above a bunch of bullshit? Are my old ways of wanting to take a million trades planting thoughts in my mind to take over once again?

I will ponder.

Day 6. Ok, no trades today foreal. Fo'real.

Similar to an Asian father who's never satisfied with his child's good grades, trades came close to happening but never quite lived up to my expectations. So no trades today.

Speaking of Asians, my girlfriend and I will be taking a trip to China at the end of March. So yesterday I went to Walgreen's to get a picture for my Visa.

"Hi, I'd like to get a picture taken for a Visa."

"Picture for passport, yes!'

"No, for a Visa."

"Passport! Now, you go stand there." and he walks over to the wall and pulls down a white screen.

Didn't really know what to expect but I thought they'd have some professional cameras or something. So I stand there waiting for him to bring out some expensive looking photography equipment to take the pictures when he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a camera that looks like it belongs to his 5yr old daughter. I was thinking, "Wtf, I could have taken my own picture in my bedroom. Why am I paying for this?"

"Ok, you smile now. Ready? Here, I show you..."

He gives me a smile, I suppose as an example of how to smile. But 1) hmmm, I already know how to smile. And 2), the smile he gave looked just like this:

He even looked like that guy, hah. So I gave a smile and thought, "Hell yeah. Best Visa picture ever. I rock." Then he took his baby camera to the back and did whatever they do back there. A few minutes later he returned.

I looked down at my picture and motherfuck, I looked just like that dude. Aargh. His pedo smile must have been contagious. As I'm looking at my picture he says

"You look good. Very good."

So I guess it's official. If my new friend at Walgreen's with the girl's camera said it, it must be so. I do indeed have the best Visa picture ever.

Good times and on to tomorrow.

Day 5. No Trades. Oh wait, jus kidding jus kidding jus kidding. +2.2 pips.

A little frustrating. Woke up at 4:30am today, as I did yesterday. No trades though a couple times I thought for sure I'd get one in but then a rule would be broken and I'd have to cancel a pending order. Kinda just sat here with my thumb up my ass for almost 3 hours. I suppose the screen time though is good since I'm noticing setups that I will test out later on...

Also, I'm finding it easier and easier to cancel the orders when the rules are suddenly broken. It feels almost automatic now.

Well, nevermind, hah. As I was writing this I decided to give one last look at the chart and what did I spy with my half-Mexican eye? A setup forming with all my rules met. So put in the limit and it hit and stalled so I quickly exited with 2.2 pips. That's the second time now this happened at almost the same exact time. Might be coincidence but I'll make a note of it. Might be that this particular hour is better for my setup and rules.